My first ten hour shift. That felt like the longest day in history of world. The time did go faster than I expected, mainly because there is so little time to actually think about anything but the person on the other end of the phone. Every call feels like an unexploded bomb, you just don’t know what you’re going to get or when it’s all going to blow up in your face but maybe that’s just me. Panda keeps telling me it gets easier but I find that hard to believe.
When I finally emerged into the darkness I felt disoriented, as if my brain had switched off completely and I was walking down the road on autopilot. Every ounce of energy, every thought in my head had drained away and it was all about putting one foot in front of the other to get to the bus. When I got home I was so bone weary I just sat in the chair staring into space, too tired to even eat. Too tired to crawl up the stairs to bed.
How am I going to do this for four days? Exhausted.