11 November 2011 – feeling sorry for myself

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Sorry I haven’t been posting but been feeling sorry for myself and also struggling to do too much. It’s been a bit one step forward two steps back. I feel a bit better I do things then the next day I feel worse again.

My boss called last week when I was still signed off and asked me why I wasn’t back at work. Apparently the occupational health people, after a phone call to me and a phone consultation with a physio said I was fit for work and she expected me back. I felt very pressurised. I didn’t go back until yesterday when my certificate ran out. Still wasn’t right but feeling a lot better. After a ten hour shift doing admin work my back was in spasm and I was in agony. It took an hour with painkillers, hot water bottles and heat pack to get it to relax a bit but even then I couldn’t lift a fork to eat my dinner.

I got about 5 hours sleep. This morning I was in a lot of pain. I went back to the doctor and have been signed off for two more weeks. The doctor said I went back to early and should have gone back to get signed off again. Also said that OH can’t overrule the gp. I didn’t think I had any choice but seems like I did. I also contacted the union who are now dealing with it for me. They are going to arrange a phased return to work once I am better. They were not impressed with the way I was treated.

Sorry for the negative post but it’s been a tough few weeks. All the fitness I’ve built up seems to be slipping away. I can’t even really go for a walk because I’m afraid someone at work will see me and I’ll be in trouble. Also after a while of standing my neck starts to really hurt and spasm. I think my weight is pretty stable though. I did have a few days of eating rubbish because I felt so down but I’m more on top if it now.

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