9 February 2009 – breaking down

Manic cleaning

Manic cleaning

I woke up this morning at the time my alarm would normally go off. I don’t know what happened to the weekend. It’s a blur of tears and hugs and worried faces. I got up. I don’t know why. Commando was surprised to see me when he came in from work. “Go back to bed,” he said. I didn’t though. I showered. I made breakfast. I looked at it. I didn’t eat it. There seems to be a lump of something in my chest. I can’t get food to go past it. I put on make up. I put on my coat. I went out. I walked. I walked for miles. I don’t know where I went. I came back. I started cleaning the kitchen. I cleaned out all the drawers. Years worth of mess, gone. I couldn’t stop. Continue reading

Advertisements