11 June 2009 – emotional eating and back in the twelves

Oh dear!

Oh dear!

I’ve been doing a bit of emotional eating since I got the reply from the driving instructor. It’s not big and it’s not clever and it’s certainly not doing me much good on the scales. When I weighed in on Monday I was back to twelve stone. Two pounds back on in one week. The problem is, now I’ve gone back to eating carbs I just can’t resist the lure of the bread and the potatoes and all the things I deprived myself of last month. I haven’t been too out of control but, when I stopped the Atkins, I promised myself I was going to eat sensibly. I didn’t. I have my morning muesli then a sandwich for lunch and a sensible dinner with potatoes or rice or pasta but none of it seems to fill me up. An hour after I’ve eaten I’m hungry again and before I know it I’m eating a bag of crisps or a chocolate biscuit. It could be worse I suppose, it could be a family sized bag of crisps or a whole packet of biscuits but it’s enough to get the weight climbing again. I have to find a way to break this cycle. Continue reading

9 March 2009 – a new beginning and cake

First day cakes

First day cakes

Despite being more than a little nervous about my first day at New Beginnings, I did manage to find time to weigh in this morning. I’ve lost another pound, which isn’t much, considering what I’ve been losing recently but I’ll take it. At least it’s all my own work and not a product of sticking my fingers down my throat or ingesting mind altering drugs. I can’t stop thinking about Alfie. I can understand why she feels she has to do it I suppose. Anyone who’s been overweight would love a magic potion to make them lose weight fast but it all sounds very dangerous to me. I’m not sure there’s much I can do about it though and, for now, I’ve got enough other things to worry about. Continue reading

6 March 2009 – redundancy meeting and diet revelations

An empty office

An empty office

Today was my redundancy meeting at Dream Factory. Alfie’s was just before mine so we planned to meet up in the cafe afterwards. I felt a lot calmer about going into the office than I did last time. Maybe it’s because I do at least have another job now. Pat met me at the door because my key pass, like my remote access and email address, has been deactivated I guess. She led me through to Steve’s old office where Robert was waiting. It was horrible walking though the marketing department and seeing all the empty desks where once there was a mad hive of activity. A few people smiled and tried to catch my eye as I passed but I knew that way madness and tears lay so I kept my eyes straight ahead. Pat stayed in the meeting with me which I’d not expected. Continue reading