26 January 2009 – too busy to eat

Shattered

Shattered

Alfie was really annoying me today. It was like she had ants in her pants she was up and down from her desk all day wandering round the office. When she did sit down she was either drumming her fingers on the table or, worse still, talking to me. With an educational going out in a weeks’ time and changes to be made, I had so much to do I didn’t know where to start, never mind time for chatting. Continue reading

9 February 2009 – breaking down

Manic cleaning

Manic cleaning

I woke up this morning at the time my alarm would normally go off. I don’t know what happened to the weekend. It’s a blur of tears and hugs and worried faces. I got up. I don’t know why. Commando was surprised to see me when he came in from work. “Go back to bed,” he said. I didn’t though. I showered. I made breakfast. I looked at it. I didn’t eat it. There seems to be a lump of something in my chest. I can’t get food to go past it. I put on make up. I put on my coat. I went out. I walked. I walked for miles. I don’t know where I went. I came back. I started cleaning the kitchen. I cleaned out all the drawers. Years worth of mess, gone. I couldn’t stop. Continue reading

23 January 2009 – cabbage soup fall out

 

How did that happen?

How did that happen?

I can’t believe it. I’ve been really good all week. My stomach still feels like it’s shrunk so I haven’t been eating all that much because I don’t want to stretch it again. I did have some chocolate on Wednesday night but only a bag of Maltesers. We weighed in this morning and I’ve put on weight. How does that work? I’ve put on nine pounds. That means I’ve only lost two pounds in the last two weeks, even with the bloody cabbage soup diet and all the good eating and walking to work all week. Continue reading

3 February 2009 – a waiting game

Trying to look busy

Waiting for the hammer to fall

There was more snow today. I really didn’t want to go to work knowing Robert would be there in Steve’s office watching us all, making decisions that will affect our lives. My job could be at risk (Commando says there’s no way I will go because no one else knows how to do my job) but even if it’s not me it will be people I know and like. It’s horrific being there. Continue reading

18 January 2009 – never eating cabbage soup again

Meh

 If I never see another cabbage again it will be too soon!

Today is the last day! I can have unlimited vegetables, cabbage soup and some brown rice. The problem is there is no more cabbage soup. Commando threw it out and forbade me to make any more because it makes the house smell too much. Continue reading

15 January – bananas, spots and stats

Tried and spotty

Tried and spotty

Today I’m allowed up to eight bananas. Yay! I had a banana for breakfast and it was heavenly. I felt a bit better on my way to work today. I was going to walk but then the bus turned up just as I was walking past the stop so I caught it. I’m feeling tired again now though and I’ve got a big spot on my forehead that really hurts. Continue reading